This is coming to you a little late, but I was wrestling with the idea of this blog post for a while and I’ve finally decided to commit and do it! I want to highlight some of the not so fun moments from the past year in true Meghan fashion- with a hint of comedy to get us through. Because I live by my dad’s motto- “if it’s not fun, make it funny”! So here you have it folks….. The Krueger Awards 2015!!!!!!!
- Most Likely to get E. coli
Harper Krueger everybody! More than many times I’ve found her splashing to her heart’s content in the bowl of a toilet or dangling herself so far inside that if anyone were to push the handle- she’d have a good old-fashioned swirly. But, it doesn’t stop there- she licks her fingers clean. Her whole front side gets so soaked with toilet water, you’d think she was a dog.
2. Most Likely to get E. coli from her own Poop
Still Harper… This poop fetish doesn’t stop at the toilet. Every time I change a poopy diaper she manages to stick her fist right in the goods or use her own palm as the wipe. I know we appear slightly crunchy from the outside, Harper, but that’s taking it a little too far. However, the chart-topping moment to win her this award has to be the time I walked into the bathroom to find her digging through the dirty cloth diaper bin and throwing poopy diapers all over the place. Ahhh, the joys of parenting… I know that most of these problems would be solved by keeping the bathroom door closed, but in the midst of potty training Flannery that isn’t as easy as it sounds.
3. Most Likely to get Trenchfoot
That would be Flan. We have a love- hate relationship with those ruby slippers from Halloween. Flannery loves them and Zach and I… want to light them on fire. For basically two months she would not take them off her feet. I’m not saying she would only choose these shoes to wear. No. They NEVER CAME OFF HER FEET. She wore them from dawn to dusk, slept in them every night and even kept them on her feet throughout the extent of her potty training, which caused them to be filled with urine multiple times (don’t get me wrong, we snuck them off while she was sleeping when we could, but she would wake up in the middle of the night in complete distress yelling for her shoes).They have got to be the nastiest shoes to ever have existed and her poor little feet just went right along with it. Oh my did they smell! I was usually woken in the morning first by the smell hitting my nose as she wandered into our bedroom. I was beginning to think maybe they had become a part of her and we would never get them off, but finally Zach and I had had enough and we decided to just rip the band-aid off and remove the shoes. Which leads me to the next award…
4. Best Imitation of an Exorcism
Flannery! I. Kid. You. Not. I was waiting for cops to bust in through our door any minute expecting a homicide or something. I have NEVER heard this kid scream like she did that night. Zach just hid the bathroom with her until she screamed herself to sleep while I just waited in the other room for it to stop and prayed our neighbors were out of town. #apartmentlife
5. Who’s that Hottie?!
This one is all Zach! While we all were suffering from Florida’s unrelenting squelch the past few months, Zach was always the one suffering most… visibly? He can basically sweat through a shirt in the blink of an eye down here. He’s hot and
he’s not afraid to show it he can’t do anything to hide it.
6. Most Likely to be Pregnant
Since I’m the only one with a fully functioning female reproductive system, this is a given. But, if you thought you were going to get a little baby announcement reading this award- you’re coming up dry! Not pregnant yet. But, not a day goes by that I’m not asked if another little Krueger is on the way. I guess that’s what I get for announcing I was pregnant with Harper just a few weeks after Flannery turned one. Don’t hold your breath- I’m trying to plan my bed rest around Zach’s travel schedule and be ultra-strategic with my next pregnancy. But, who knows, I’ll probably eat my words next month.
7. The Copycat Award
This goes to both the girls. Flannery mimics Zach and I and Harper copies everything Flannery does too. Sometimes, its just plain hilarious (like when Flan uses the word ‘necessarily’ in a sentence), but for the most part, its just totally adorable. I like to stand out of their line of sight and watch them when they play together-its just the cutest. and my favorite. I know, this award doesn’t quite fit in with the rest, but give me a break guys, not everything was gross and weird that happened this year….
For more fun 7 Quick Takes check out This Ain’t the Lyceum